


start anew

by quiescents



Series: Hogwarts School of Witchcraft & Wizardry (Challenges & Assignments) [7]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Childhood Friends, F/M, Friends to Lovers, Implied Relationships, M/M, Moving On, Post-War, Unrequited Crush
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-20
Updated: 2017-10-20
Packaged: 2019-01-20 04:36:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,433
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12425154
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/quiescents/pseuds/quiescents
Summary: Moving on from Draco was the first step in moving on from the war.





	start anew

**Author's Note:**

> Written for Hogwarts School of Witchcraft & Wizardry (Challenges & Assignments)  
> Gardening, Spring task – Write about starting anew  
> Showtime, Chromaggia – (situation) letting go of something  
> Around the World in Thirty One Days, Kiribati – (dialogue) “Knowing it’s real means you gotta make a decision. One, keep denying it. Or two...do something about it.”

Pansy had never thought that leaving the only home she’d ever known would be so anticlimactic. 

Her mother, never a Death Eater and less outspoken than many other purebloods about her support of the Dark Lord, was determined to stay in Britain and continue writing for Witch Weekly. Pansy, on the other hand, was a pariah. Everyone knew about how she’d suggested giving Potter up to the Dark Lord, and very few were inclined to have any sympathy for her.

So, she packed her things and took an international portkey to her family’s vacation home in France, planning to finish her education at Beauxbatons in the fall. 

There were no house-elves there, since the Parkinsons occupied the house so infrequently. Pansy frowned, looking at the boxes scattered across the floor and the dust coating many of the visible surfaces. She hadn’t been here in years, and something about the air of neglect made her feel even more lonely. 

“Come on, pull it together,” she murmured to herself, blinking back unexpected tears. “You’ve taken care of yourself plenty of times before.” 

A few quick household charms sent her things floating out of their boxes, putting themselves away. Carefully getting out of the way of a few robes headed to her closet, Pansy curled up in the window seat, one of her favorite places in the house. It felt safe and cozy in a way few other things were these days. Running a hand over the dark green velvet, she cast a quick _Scourgify_ , and a thin layer of dust vanished, leaving the fabric looking brighter.

She smiled at her reflection in the mirror, but with nobody else around, it looked more forced than ever.

xxx

‘ _You’re a coward, leaving like that_ ,’ the letter announced, Draco’s handwriting messier than usual, like he’d been too angry to make much of an effort to control it. 

Pansy huffed softly and rolled her eyes, trying not to let it get to her. She had experience with Draco’s moods. He was just jealous that he couldn’t do the same thing. He’d come around, she was sure, and even better, now she had all the time in the world to woo him.

The letter continued on in a similar fashion for awhile, Draco venting his frustrations just as he might if they were together in person, lounging by the lake at Hogwarts. 

She wrote out a suitable reply, equal parts mocking and reassuring, careful to call him darling no less than three times, lest he forget that she was still perfectly willing to set up a proper engagement, whenever he was ready.

When his next note came, telling her to, ‘ _Have fun at Beauxbatons, you selfish bitch_ ,’ Pansy threw it in the fire instead.

xxx

The day after that, Blaise scared the shit out of her, which she was sure he was thrilled about. He smirked, leaning against the stone of her fireplace as though he was the one who lived there.

“What are you doing here, Zabini?” Pansy asked warily, crossing her arms. They hadn’t talked much since the battle, and so, unlike Draco, she had no idea where she stood with him.

“Visiting you, of course,” he said with a roll of his eyes. “Damn, Pansy, you look horrible. Really beating yourself up that much over Draco?”

She started to open her mouth to argue with him, but found that she couldn’t. She really didn’t look up to her normal standards. Closing her mouth again, now acutely aware of the fact that she wasn’t wearing makeup, Pansy shrugged, idly twisting a small lock of hair, now long enough to brush her collarbones and not as glossy as it used to be, around her finger.

“Haven’t been in the mood to do much, I guess.” She wasn’t used to being open about her feelings, especially when it meant admitting any kind of weakness. Pansy was the type of person to point out _other people’s_ weaknesses. The war changed everyone, she supposed.

“Unacceptable,” Blaise announced, stepping closer and taking her hand. “Draco’s being a prick, we all know it. He’s just pissy because he’s on probation and Potter vouched for him. So tonight, you and I are going to forget all about him and go out.”

Pansy smiled for what felt like the first time in weeks.

xxx

Slowly, things started to look up, thanks to both Blaise and the beauty of France. Sometimes, walking through town, and buying groceries at little Muggle shops, Pansy almost felt ready to reach out to some of her other friends. Daphne, maybe. Soon.

She didn’t get another letter from Draco until October, just as she’d gotten comfortable in her routine at Beauxbatons. People still knew who she was, of course. She wasn’t making any friends, but her classes were interesting, and nobody bothered her too much.

‘ _It’s been a hard few months for me_ ,’ the letter said, a rather surprising admission coming from Draco. ‘ _I didn’t mean to be so harsh. I can’t blame you for getting out. You’re lucky you could._ ’ Potter’s name caught Pansy’s eye further down the page, and she started reading a little faster, wondering what juicy bit of gossip that might be.

‘ _Potter’s been nagging me for weeks, telling me I should write you. He’s right, as much as I hate to admit it. I should have done it months ago._ ’ Potter, giving Draco advice about personal matters? Draco saying Potter was right about something? Pansy could hardly believe her eyes. 

‘ _Part of it is how eager he is for me to tell my friends about us_ ,’ and here, Pansy could almost imagine Draco smiling, as the meaning of the words slowly sunk in. ‘ _Harry and I are together, Pans. It’s a long story, and he’s still an insufferable git but...it works, somehow. I think I’m happy. Really, actually happy again._ ’

She barely managed to read the next line (‘ _You should come visit soon_ ’) as she dropped the parchment onto the table, making a beeline for the liquor cabinet.

xxx

“Knowing it’s real means you gotta make a decision. One, keep denying it. Or two...do something about it.” 

“Ugh, I hate it when you’re right,” Pansy grumbled.

Blaise’s visits had become a weekly affair, and it was thanks to him that she wasn’t brooding over Draco all the time. Just most of it. And, of course, he hadn’t let the topic of Draco and Harry’s new relationship go.

“Hate it all you want, as long as you admit that I’m right,” Blaise retorted, stealing a bite of her croissant. “Draco’s in a happy, serious relationship. He’s not going to just fall into your lap.”

“Are you suggesting that I should try to seduce him?” Pansy asked, arching an eyebrow.

“No,” Blaise said with a long-suffering sigh. “I’m suggesting that you try to move on. Get over him.”

“Easy for you to say. Have you _ever_ had real feelings for someone, or do you plan on just fooling around forever?”

“Not the point. I’m sick of seeing you acting miserable because Mr. Perfect has a boyfriend.”

xxx

The following spring, lingering on Harry Potter’s front steps, it was only the memory of all of Blaise’s pep talks, as well as his current, solid presence at her side that gave Pansy the push she needed to knock on the door.

“Parkinson, Zabini, it’s good to see you,” Harry said when he opened the door, sounding remarkably genuine. It was like she was an entirely different person than she was a year ago.

“It’s...nice to see you again too, Potter,” she said, flashing a brief smile before starting to weave through the clusters of mingling guests to find Draco. Though they’d gotten back to writing to each other more often in the past few months, and Floo called now and then, Pansy hadn’t seen him in person since the immediate aftermath of the war.

Unwillingly caught in small talk with Ginny Weasley for the next several minutes, Pansy’s search was put on hold. When she finally caught sight of Draco, he had an arm slung around Harry’s waist, and was leaning in to give him a kiss.

Her breath caught in her throat, and she waited for the inevitable heartbreak at seeing such blatant proof of Draco’s affection for someone else. To her surprise, it never came. Aside from a vague sense of nostalgia, it didn’t hurt at all.

“You okay?” Blaise murmured, having made his way to her side again.

“Yeah,” Pansy replied quietly, interlacing their fingers and giving Blaise’s hand a gentle squeeze. “It feels good.”


End file.
